Never the Same
I have been married to a saint, Christi Kirsch for 18 years and have 2 wonderful teenage children Griffin and Demerey. I have worked for a 2nd generation family business for 20 years.
I am sure my story starts off like many, raised in a large family with 6 kids. We went to Mass every Sunday, but never really knew the Lord nor His Word and His saving Grace. Throughout my years in school and college, I never doubted God’s existence, but I didn't have a relationship with God and his Son Jesus Christ. I was bored with my religious tradition.
Not knowing anything else, Christi and I kept that pattern with our kids because we wanted them to know there was a higher moral authority that would ultimately hold them accountable. Still, we were not serving the Lord, nor had we built any relationship with the Lord. Living a life enforcing strong family values, teaching and living with good moral character and going to mass on Sunday was not enough.
We were first introduced to Grace Church thru friends in 2002. For several years prior, we shared common sports and social events thru our kids. We sporadically attended Grace Church for the next few years. We loved the messages that Pastor Dan and Pastor Tony shared each week. . Although I still was not saved and couldn't absorb the depths of God's Word, I know seeds were being planted during that time
Christi started attending a bible study at the Hallams house in 2003. They were studying Rick Warren’s “The Purpose driven Life”. I never went with her, but it was time well spent for Christi. God was preparing her.
Catastrophic Life Event, Valentines Day 2004. My brother-in-law Tom and our kids were taking an overnight camping and dirt bike riding trip 15 miles past Pyramid Lake. First mistake was leaving my wife Christi on Valentines Day; men learn from my major oversight. A seemingly insignificant crash over the handlebars on soft sand, I was conscious without a scratch on my body, but severely broken inside. The paralysis below the chest was felt immediately.
God's miraculous work started by sending none other than Grace Church’s guitarist and Care Flight pilot, Dean to our rescue. He found us 15 miles away from Pyramid Lake, in the middle of the desert, with maybe an hour of sun left.
Dean flew me to Washoe Medical Emergency, where I underwent 2 major surgeries. I was heavily medicated, but remember the prayer groups lead by Pastor Dan and Pastor Rick and countless others in the local Grace community before each surgery. Nine days later and stabilized, I was flown to the best Spinal Cord hospital in the USA, Craig Medical Center in Denver CO.
The body began healing, but no recovery of feeling or movement below the chest. I was slowly weaned off the pain meds and mental clarity returned. Depression set in, "Life would never be the same". I was at the lowest point in my life, and literally sobbed for a couple of weeks. I asked over and over, WHY ME? GOD, WHY DID YOU ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN TO ME? I was a good moral person. I took care of my body, physically and mentally. Weren’t there plenty of other people out there that deserved this more than ME? Numerous times I found myself negotiating with God, "If you cure me and let me walk again, I will do anything you want me to do". I had not yet read the book of Job to understand what a pathetic, weak, faithless person I was in trying to negotiate with God. And what were God’s consequences if he didn’t CURE ME?
My Mom and step-dad Rob brought me a Bible, which hardly seemed like a remedy for paralysis. They were both sure that I would find comfort in the Lord, that He had a plan for me. Not an easy concept when you are facing the rest of your life living in a wheelchair. Christi and the kids were with me about half the time along with other family member visits, but I still had a lot of time ALONE. I tried to read the Bible to pass the time, but it was hard to focus and understand God's Word, considering my mental condition. I was still waiting for my body to heal, hoping that I was going to walk again. NOTHING WAS HAPPENING. I saw others at Craig making progress, moving their legs, having feeling return, and some were even taking small steps with a walker. I was devastated and broken.
The real turning point was when my best friend from high school, Dean Adamak heard about my accident and drove his entire family 16 hours from his Christian Mission/Orphanage in Mexico, UNANNOUNCED, to witness to me. He came with the sole purpose of sharing his testimony and to walk me through the most important event in my life. He prayed with me and walked me through the most important words I would ever say. I asked the Lord for forgiveness and accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior.
Three years hindsight, I can honestly say that the only way I got thru this traumatic experience is through the comfort of knowing the Lord, studying His Word and understanding the magnitude of His Saving Grace. I slowly got HOOKED on reading the Bible, which in turn brought reflection on my past life. What a self-serving life I led for 37 years. I had not served God's earthly Kingdom with my time nor money. I never put my faith in God to run my life. I was not happy, even when I was running around on 2 strong legs. Joni Erickson Tada, a woman who has served God for many years in a wheelchair, wrote the following about pain and suffering. "If you have been broken by the hand of God, you can be sure nothing will be wasted, it is a way your faithfulness can be multiplied." The Purpose Driven Life also gave me strength in knowing that the Lord has a powerful plan for me, even if I am in a wheelchair.
My pain and suffering has strengthened my faith and love for the Lord. I miss many worldly things I could do before paralysis, HOWEVER, this life-changing event brought me to the Lord and I can’t say that my former path would have led me to salvation and eternal life with the Lord and His Precious Son Jesus Christ. God is slowly laying out His plan for me. I can’t wait for the next chapters in my life when God uses my spiritual tools to serve his Earthly Kingdom.
Amen, hallelujah!
I can’t say enough about Grace Church and the many faithful servants I have been so blessed in meeting who have been instrumental in building my faith. God really did use Grace and the people there to draw me to Him. Our Bible Study is always an incredibly powerful venue for the Lord to speak to our group. Grace’s men's retreat with was a major eye opener; I have much work to do. Pastor Dan is amazing; God speaks so directly and powerfully thru this man to so many people each week. I love the Youth Groups. I wish I had been exposed to such a Christian Youth experience when I was young. Seeing the Love and Faith that these young kids have for the Lord is AWESOME. There is hope that our kids will survive the spiritual war zone they will be entering in their young adult life when Mom and Dad are not helping them make good decisions.
To steal the phrase from Dave Durst, “I LOVE THIS CHURCH”
